Offer a gentle guess like it sounds frustrating, and then ask, did I get close. The guess is an invitation, not a verdict. When you are off, people often correct you and feel more seen anyway, because you showed effort. Accuracy improves over time as patterns emerge across moments, contexts, and recurring pressure points.
Before disagreeing, name something reasonable in the other person’s reasoning, such as with deadlines moving, your caution makes sense. This does not concede everything; it honors the part that is coherent. Validation reduces defensiveness, enabling dialogue about tradeoffs, responsibilities, and next steps without erasing legitimate concerns or forcing premature consensus that later unravels.
Acknowledge that the difficulty is common in similar contexts while still treating this instance as unique. Say many people find this stretch exhausting, and I want to understand how it is landing for you. Normalizing reduces shame; specificity preserves dignity. Together, they create conditions for honest requests, clearer boundaries, and collaborative problem solving that sticks.